


Denial is Just a River in Egypt

by awesomecookies



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Academia, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Professors, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Anthropology, Anxious Okumura Eiji, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Dating, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Doctorates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Ash Lynx, Oblivious Okumura Eiji, Pet Names, Pining, Professors, Unreliable Narrator, archeology, archeology au, archeology references, but actually they were, but actually they weren't, carbon dating, excavations, how much can i fit in? who knows, lots of anthropology and archeology references, nerds, smart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27033994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomecookies/pseuds/awesomecookies
Summary: "So are you two dating?"William blurted out. Eiji looked up from the ceramic plate Ash was holding. Ash apparently had done the same, and you could see it in his expression like you can hear the scratching of a record while his thoughts came to a halt. His face then turned red and glanced over to Eiji, red as the ochre that was adorned on the caves of our ancestors, painted with ancient lives forever etched in the canvas that was their world then when it had not yet torn itself apart.Anyway, in retrospect, Eiji should have known it by then, and yet some things were simply not obvious when you're in the field, six feet beneath the surface level, and just dying to crawl back to your bed from where you camped.But that was for Eiji in the future to worry about anyway. At that moment, Eiji remembered wanting to laugh as he gestured at the ceramic plate in Ash's hand along with the ancient dirt they were knee-deep in, giving William a look that conveyed--you are literally here, deep in the mud, in the middle of fucking Italy. How are you asking me this?-Archeology au with a lot of misunderstandings and dating
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 48
Kudos: 185





	Denial is Just a River in Egypt

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [all the types of dating](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249913) by [igneousbitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/igneousbitch/pseuds/igneousbitch). 



> This baby can fit so many anthropology/archeology memes lmaooooo  
> this is self indulgent. it's even ooc. but whatever we are gonna get EDUCATED! STRAP ON!
> 
> EDIT: someone found the fic this was inspired from. Idk what's the protocol of writing a fic that's inspired from another fic, but i have to give credit where credit is due so! Please go ahead and read that fic :D

See, when they talk about it in the future, Eiji really should have realized in retrospect. It was kind of obvious, looking back. And yet in Eiji's defense, it was humid, he was tired, he just spent an entire day hunched over a pit of ancient dirt that was possibly left untouched since the fall of Rome while he was slowly being eaten alive by mosquitoes, and the only other person in that pit was Aslan Jade fucking Callenreese in his beautiful sweaty and disheveled glory.

Devastatingly gorgeous Dr. Aslan Jade Callenreese, (better known as Ash by his colleagues) in his own muddy khaki pants and shirt, eyeing the artifact in his hands for a sign of a written date or any indication of when the heck it was made before they sent it to the labs. 

Either way, it wasn't exactly Eiji's fault. It was a linguistic error that stemmed from so many different factors from that day. And William, sweet undergrad, William stared between the two of them while holding his handy dandy notebook whilst peering over the edge of the pit, waiting for notes to take down, and asked them with an overly curious look which he seemed to have suppressed for so long until his less rational mind got the better of him.

"So are you two dating?" 

William blurted out. Eiji looked up from the ceramic plate Ash was holding. Ash apparently had done the same, and you could see it in his expression like you can hear the scratching of a record while his thoughts came to a halt. His face then turned red and glanced over to Eiji, red as the ochre that was adorned on the caves of our ancestors, painted with ancient lives forever etched in the canvas that was their world then when it had not yet torn itself apart.

Anyway, in retrospect, Eiji should have known it by then, and yet some things were simply not obvious when you're in the field, six feet beneath the surface level, and just dying to crawl back to your bed from where you camped. 

But that was for Eiji in the future to worry about anyway. At that moment, Eiji remembered wanting to laugh as he gestured at the ceramic plate in Ash's hand along with the ancient dirt they were knee-deep in, giving William a look that conveyed--you are literally here, deep in the mud, in the middle of fucking Italy. How are you asking me this? Eiji was a little bit of a bastard deep down and nothing felt better than snark at someone when he was already cranky from the toils of excavation, but for his students, he was going to be a little gentle anyway, despite the weariness creeping up his shoulders. They were students after all (his and Ash’s beloved students) and questions should be entertained properly. 

"Of course." Eiji shook his head patiently when his attention was back to the task at hand.

He heard Ash choke a little while William simply gave a noise that Eiji could only categorize as satisfied. Or maybe excited. It was just stratigraphy. But it was nice to hear some enthusiasm anyway. William immediately excused himself and yelled at his classmates as if he'd discovered something amazing. Eiji was probably getting too old with how much he wasn't understanding kids these days, and Ash would no doubt tease him about it. He was only thirty-five.

Eiji snickered. "Can you believe that? We've been doing this for years though." He laughed at the silliness of it. Relative dating was something they've always done in every excavation. Not to mention the carbon dating they had to do in the labs. 

"Years." Ash looked at him funny, like he's found an artifact out of place in the planes of Eiji's face. As if he just found a smartphone in an excavation in ancient Egypt, buried together with the pharaohs, as ridiculous as that sounded. 

"Ash! The plate!" Eiji swooped in to catch the plate slipping from Ash's hands. "Are you alright?" He wasn't usually this clumsy, but there was no way Eiji would allow Ash to let what could be a 3000-year-old plate from smashing into a hundred pieces due to fatigue. It was a little late, maybe they should call it a night. 

"I--fuck." Ash's mouth opened, and then closed shut immediately. He's floundering for words, though that had never happened before even when he was faced in a room filled with panelists, viciously scrutinizing his research. Especially in a room filled with panelists. Ash was in his element whenever he was in a lecture room, where Eiji sees Ash eloquently talk about broken pots and bricked clay as if they were poetry. Yet here he was anyway and Eiji was just taking it in with wonder.

"I'm sorry. I'm not the most perceptive person I guess?" He settled. “But I admire you most ardently.”

Eiji listened to that and immediately called it bullshit because Ash was the most meticulous man he's seen with details. Eiji read the way he wrote about the description of an excavation site before in one of his researches and it was one of the most detailed and accurate pictures one could possibly draw from words alone, Eiji was sure nothing was left behind and a vivid image was painted in his mind despite never being in the place. So no, Eiji would have to politely disagree.

“You must be tired,” Eiji suggested with a small grin. “We should call it a day, what do you think?”

“Yes.” Ash immediately said. “Yes. Let’s call in for the night.” He’s acting a little weird, frazzled, a little bit like he was punched in the gut. Eiji shrugged it off and blamed it for the exhaustion.

* * *

There were only a few things that caught Ash off guard in his entire life. One was the pumpkin incident when he was five (it resulted in him absolutely detesting Halloween), another was that time he forgot about his midterms exams happening in an hour and he was still on the other side of the city (don’t ask) so he had to run like his life depended on it, and third was when a certain dark-haired man burst into his life like a man drunk in a party and somehow deciding he never wanted to leave.

But this seemed to have been on an entirely different level of its own.

So apparently Dr. Aslan Callenreese was a terrible boyfriend, not because of the lack of trying of course, only because he didn't even know he was a boyfriend until that evening. More importantly, he didn’t know he was Eiji’s boyfriend. And it's been happening for years! Years! He would've tried better had he known. 

In retrospect, Ash should have realized sooner.

They saw each other every day, spent almost all the time together. They often slept in the same bed especially during excavations with limited accommodations. They've definitely seen each other naked (again, limited accommodations) they’ve met each other’s families (Griffin certainly took an immediate liking to Eiji, and though Eiji’s parents were a little ecstatic to meet Ash, the same might not be said for Eiji’s sister. The two of them got along like water did to fire) Now that Ash thought about it, perhaps that was why she decided to annoy Ash at every minute possible. She must have thought Ash was taking him away from her.

Ash knew Griffin would laugh at him without a doubt. How could one possibly not know they were dating someone? It’s not like Eiji ever did officially place a label on whatever it was they were traversing together either. (Or maybe he did but just never bothered telling Ash about it, thinking they were on the same page) Maybe he just assumed Ash took a hint since apparently the signs were blatantly all over them. They do things couples did, and bickered as couples did, and Eiji would wrap his arms around him whenever he felt like the world was too much and tuck him against the warmth of his touch, just like what Ash would do when it was Eiji who felt like shit.

Just like what couples do.

(They even made out once. They were both very drunk, but Eiji actually stuck his tongue down Ash’s mouth while gripping at his shirt and moaning against him. They never did talk about it afterward, but it did happen.)

Ash wanted to scream.

“Shit.”

* * *

So maybe Ash was suddenly acting all boyfriend-y all of a sudden the next day, but Eiji could not know how Ash wasn’t even aware of their relationship till last night. Absolutely not.

“Good morning.” Eiji strolled to Ash’s table and immediately handed him a cup of coffee, knowing he couldn’t function properly in the morning without it. He even memorized his preferred flavor by heart, then he leaned his head by his shoulder, which was something they did every day. Honestly, they really were dating.

“Dr. Okumura!” Margaret slid on a seat in their table with a wide grin on her face. “Good sleep?”

“Yes actually, I had a really wonderful time sleeping.” Eiji beamed with too much cheer for the morning, it was already blinding. His hair was tied in a bun, glasses already perched on his nose. It was unfair how amazing he looked this early. 

"Dr. Callenreese must be a very nice pillow to snuggle with." 

Eiji choked. "We're--we are not sleeping together." 

"Yet." Ash inserted smoothly. It was a shame actually. Eiji was a saint waiting for Ash to get his head out of the gutter. He must have wondered all this time why they haven't taken it to the next level. Not even just to sleep in the same bed. They had different tents here too. Ash thought about remedying that.

Eiji somehow looked even more shocked. He clutched at his mug with wide eyes. Now his face was a little pink. "Yet."

"I thought you were at least sleeping together already. You haven't even heard about some crazy theory about how you're both married, but you don't even have rings." Margaret rambled away. 

Eiji chugged the rest of his coffee. 

"More coffee, darling?" Ash rubbed Eiji's back soothingly. So maybe Ash was suddenly becoming affectionate and Eiji realized it too. It pained Ash that Eiji wasn't used to him like this. Yet he was also so cute blushing. Ash promised to make sure Eiji would be comfortable enough. 

"Coffee would be great." Eiji gave a shaky smile. 

"You are couple goals."

That actually pleased something within Ash, like a string deep inside him that was struck. He liked being called a couple with Eiji. It's a lovely label, like nomenclature on organisms that simply categorized them into specifics. He supposed he just wanted the certainty, the carte blanche to do all these things with nothing holding him back. He really regretted not realizing it sooner. He grasped Eiji's hand before getting up to get a refill. He was going to nail this boyfriend thing for sure. He would make sure of it.

* * *

"We're not together." Eiji whispered mournfully. Why was he explaining it to his student? It sounded sadder now that he let it out of his mouth.

"You're exes?" Margaret looked guilty.

"No! I mean we never were!" Eiji flapped his hands around, gesticulating exactly how absurd that was in theory. It even sounded absurdly verbalized. 

"But you like him right?" Margaret piped up with a wide grin. 

"This is highly inappropriate to talk with a student about." Eiji muttered while running a hand through his face. How did his life end up this way?

Margaret got up from the table. "For what my opinion is worth, I think Dr. Callenreese is a little in love with you." 

That's even more absurd, the most highly impossible of all statistics. Ash does not love him. 

"He's not. He's just Ash." Eiji muttered to himself miserably with Margaret leaving the table just as Ash slid back into his seat next to Eiji, another mug of coffee on hand. 

"What's the matter?" Ash had the usual smirk on his face. It's just the right amount of smug that does Eiji every time.

"I'm just debunking some absurd theories." Eiji shook his student's words off. Highly impossible and illogical. 

"I'm guessing craniology and all that Samuel Morton kind of racist crap?" He laughed with the amusement of a child, the sound of bells and their tintinnabulation from all kinds of sacred rituals from all around the world. Little jingles like the clinking and clanking of bangles and bracelets from the dances and celebrations of people who lived and breathed on this green earth. Basically Eiji was deep in the lovesickness, he would call himself besotted. 

"No," Eiji found himself saying with a little laughter anyway despite the small melancholic feeling he should have. "It's even more absurd than that."

* * *

Archeology was a very tedious profession. Early media sure glamorized it with promises of adventure, of booby traps and rescues, treasure hunting, secret maps and traps, of romance and exciting guns blazing heroes in khaki and fedoras. It's a standard Indiana Jones fantasy or the Mummy Hollywood dazzle.

Most often though, it's just dirt, dirt, dirt, and dirt. With the occasional bones and digging. There's really nothing to romanticize about it. The labor was harsh and the payback was too minimal, not to mention the controversy of what was technically professional grave robbing. There was also stealing artifacts from cultures. The entirety of the British museum was a good example of that. So you can say it really was not the best job in regards to ethics and description. 

Ash remembered a colleague who had to bury rats across their lawn to study the decay levels in carcasses across time. It definitely was not a good picture, but neither was regular archeology anyway. It was not for the faint of heart and stomach. Plus it could take years and years just to unearth an entire buried site. 

It required patience that was a miracle enough he was able to provide. But if Ash was to say, archeology was a lot like courting as well. Getting into a relationship can simply be digging and digging toward what could be your partner's center, a treasure or interesting fact could be buried within those layers, waiting for you to unearth it, to examine its implications, to know the life that had lived behind them. It's years and years of toiling away, days of dusting off and clearing precious items that were so delicate and irreplaceable, you hold it tenderly in your hands. 

So basically Eiji Okumura was an excavation site, and Ash was but an archeologist digging away at him to learn more, to grasp some semblance of who he was at his core, what life be lived and what life he would be living. Ash could only hold these impressions side by side and hope to get the clearest picture he could of Eiji Okumura, for what words could possibly be used? How was he to fathom something greater than what was already known? Something as intangible as ancient civilizations and old writings on the wall, impressions of other people that were just as alive and had possibly stood at the very same ground that he was standing on? 

No, all he could do was hope to peer through it like a man on the other side of a shower, with steam fogging through the glass, always inconsistent, always unclear but he tries to anyway. That was, to sum things up, Eiji Okumura was an interesting man, and Ash was courting said interesting man. 

If only he realized that they were past courting and was already in a relationship. But nonetheless, it wasn't too late for Ash. 

"Water, darling?" He passed a bottle of cold water to Eiji who was teaching the kids the methods of excavation. It was hot outside and Eiji was just wearing a white tank top and pants. 

"Oh yes, thank you." Eiji took the bottle and chugged down the drink, rivulets dripping down to his neck, chest, and collarbones. One of the benefits of being in an established relationship was that Ash could look at him unabashedly. He could take in his fill till the hunger inside got quelled, at least for the moment. Ash didn't think it could ever be. It used to feel forbidden, as if he was stealing, so he took what was deemed enough to not be a creep. Like a painting that could only be exposed in a few minutes before oxygen could cause its further decay. It was always so volatile.

But not anymore. Now, Ash could look all he wants unwarranted. And god, Eiji was still so damn beautiful while talking about fossils and corpses and maggots for fucks sake. 

Ash sighed. Yep, he was living the dream.

"Is there anything you want to add, Ash?" Eiji shot him an arch from his brow. "You're staring."

"Oh don't mind me," Ash smirked. "I'm just enjoying the view."

Eiji immediately turned pink before turning around, confused. "Oh. Okay then." 

He kind of was oblivious despite them being together already. It was adorable. 

The class burst into giggles. Eiji looked even more confused as he tilted his head. Yes, definitely adorable.

Ash wanted to kiss him silly. 

* * *

The beauty of studying humans was that they were so complex. Sometimes they were the most complicated beings you'll ever meet, with their traditions, and taboos, and strange set of laws both written and implied. Some things just were because they decided it to be so. Then they complain about things being made difficult when it was all their actions that led them to that situation to begin with. It's a snake eating its own tail, ouroboros.

People with their societies, and politics, and cultures. It's one of the most complex mechanisms in this world that was always ever changing. No set rules ever written, no set guidelines to follow, or agreed upon by the general populace. It was fascinating in a way, always changing with the times. Humans were never in stasis. 

Ash was a little something like that, in Eiji's humble opinion. 

Eiji had known of Ash way before they met. His name was a rising upstart in the field of anthropology and archeology, research papers and thesis outputs a work of art. Dr. Aslan Jade Callenreese, revolutionizing the field of their study, two years Eiji's junior yet here he was achieving more than his peers. Eiji thoroughly enjoyed reading his publications. They were groundbreaking, and just as fascinating as the author himself.

Eiji officially met Ash when he started his tenure in NYU. He was, to sum it up, devastatingly beautiful in person. It was hard to miss him. Blond hair, green eyes, somehow a scowl permanently etched on his face yet did not diminish any sense of desirability from it. Eiji knew beauty was a subjective thing, and maybe he was mournfully influenced by the imperialistic standards of it, the blond white man and his supposed higher value in aesthetics and evolution, that kind of bullshit. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. But goddamnit, Eiji found Ash handsome nonetheless. 

They barely interacted at first. Ash had this intimidating quality to him, something about his stare, his demeanor. The way he held himself, the way he talked. The very image of him said "intelligence" and "uncanny". Like the most complicated puzzle. 

And he was. Ash did not disappoint expectations. He was irrevocably clever. His eloquence was enough to make Eiji, and perhaps an entire room of panelists, swoon. A sharp tongue, and an even sharper mind. He was a set of human laws and conditions so big and vast to ever truly grasp on, a wonder. 

And yet, he was also awfully simple. 

In a way. 

It wasn't obvious at first of course. You wouldn't even notice it at first. Not until you break him down to the barest of his bones, the basics of his very core. You'll find Aslan Jade Callenreese, quite a bit of a dumbass and a simpleton actually, once you've stripped him of his layers. 

"That's definitely not legal. At least, by human standards.” Eiji once said to Ash way back in their other excavations. Ash, was then, pouring redbull in his coffee, looking at him straight without the fear of god in his eyes. He was, as Eiji said, a dumbass. And his actions were rarely complicated, at least his reasoning behind them weren’t. He was efficient. He didn’t do anything that didn’t warrant it, at least in his logic.

Apparently, sleeping in the same tent was part of that logic.

“No. No no no no no no no.” Eiji pinched the bridge of his nose. “We are not doing that.”

“Why not? You shy?” Ash smirked. He was already sprawled over on a futon which he brought over from his own tent. That was kind of telling Eiji that Ash would not be convinced anymore. He was also terribly stubborn to a fault. (Much like EIji himself actually)

“I don’t see why this is helping at all!” Eiji whined. There was no way he could deal with Ash sleeping in the same tent as him. There was absolutely no way.

"Saves supplies. Saves space. Security purposes. Psychological benefits too." Ash listed off. "And you know. People like us do it." People like them? What did that mean? Archeologists? Did they really usually do that?

“Do we?” Eiji swallowed hard. Was he teasing him? Was he that petty enough to take up Margaret’s offhand comment? Or perhaps Ash simply wanted to torment Eiji. He must have known. And yet Eiji did not think of him to be that cruel.

“Of course.” Ash nodded seriously. “I think it’s about time. Unless…you’re really not comfortable about it.” He looked dejected. Damn. Ash sometimes never made sense to Eiji but he never did things out of what was necessary or what he thought was right. It’s not like Eiji was so opposed to it, but he didn’t know what was going to happen to his heart if they did.

“Oh hell. Fine.” Eiji cursed himself as he slid into his own futon right next to Ash’s. Stubborn as he was, he was also weak, so easily convinced by nothing more than a few petulant tantrums from the man. It’s a strange contradiction of statements. Had it been a statement to his dissertation, it would have been deemed unacceptable and a one way ticket to another revision. Humans were also contradictory. It’s a thing that manages to baffle all those who studied humans all these years. It’s the thing that made them so complex.

Maybe what actually rubs salt on the wound was how Ash immediately perked up and suddenly Eiji didn’t feel so conflicted at all.

“Alright. Good night.” Eiji grumbled.

“Night sweetheart.” Ash looked all too pleased with himself that Eiji couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He didn’t think he could understand Ash fully anytime soon, but that was what made it fun overall.

* * *

_“Darling.”_

“So what I’m trying to tell you right now—“

_“Sweetheart.”_

“As I was saying—“

_“Honey.”_

_“Dear.”_

_“Baby.”_

_“Angel.”_

“Um Dr. Okumura, I think Dr. Callenreese is trying to call you.“ Felipe raised a hand hesitantly in the midst of their lecture. This had been going on for awhile now, and EIji was getting a little bit weirded out by it.

“Ignore him. I don’t know who he’s talking to.” Because Ash was definitely spouting off some random pet names and not calling him. He didn’t know where this delusion was even coming from.

“I still think he’s talking to you, professor.” Zora giggled.

“That’s just him being weird.” Eiji shook his head. “You all know how weird he is.”

“Once Dr. Callenreese threatened to make us go to a cemetery and ask us to dig out some bones. It’s for the ethics of it, he said. So that we get used to it. I’m not sure if he was joking.” Franz piped up. That was something Ash had always said, but he never really put it into action…hopefully. They were grave robbers, but not that kind of grave robbers.

“You don’t need to act professional in front of us you know. And we don’t mind. We are a very open-minded bunch, aren’t we?” William grinned at him.

“This is not a conversation I am holding with my students.” Eiji grumbled. “Besides, if he was calling me, he would use my actual name.”

“Eiji!” Ash strolled in the tent where they were having their lecture. “I was calling you, didn’t you hear me?”

Eiji was certain he heard some snickering from their students.

“I didn’t think you meant to call me.” He said flatly while fighting back the blush creeping in his face.

And then Ash had this semi amused, semi affronted look on his expression. “Am I likely to call anyone darling here other than you?” 

Eiji’s face was definitely red now, there was no winning against it. Some students broke into giggles. Those little shits.

“I suppose not.” He murmured, conceding. It was more likely, but was still absurd.

Ash beamed. Eiji swore Ash was in such a good mood lately in this excavation training class. It was suspicious knowing how he usually was. 

"Lovely. Now, weren't you explaining the proper handling and cleaning of these dug out clay pots?” Ash winked at him. God, why did he have to be so smug? He was teasing him, wasn’t he? He didn’t have to be so mean about it.

“Well, why don’t you explain it since you’re already here?” Eiji thrust the tiny toothbrush into Ash’s unsuspecting hands.

Ash spluttered for a while, before shrugging off and once again _winking_ at him! Oh god, he was driving Eiji crazy.

“Alright love, as you wish.”

Driving. Him. Crazy.

* * *

“Damnit Franz, didn’t professor Okumura warn you to be careful not to slip? The edges of the pits are steep.” Ash arched a brow while he tended at his student’s bruise with an ice pack and some bandages. He tried (Keyword: tried, because Ash was always was a little judgmental deep down since way back he first learned how to talk, but at least he wasn’t being an asshole about it) not to look unkind while asking, but there was only so much he could do to his face without making it look creepy.

“I swear Dr. Callenreese, I’m not usually a klutz.” He murmured guiltily. So that blew a little of the irritation and worry from Ash.

“I know.” Ash sighed. Franz was usually a mindful student, a brilliant one. Always so insightful in his quiet way. “Whatever made you lose focus? You’re usually so grounded.”

Franz bit his lip, cheeks blushing. “You’re going to laugh.”

“If it’s a safety hazard, I won’t. I need to know for future references.” This job could get dangerous sometimes after all. They all needed to be sure.

“Umm…” Franz bit his lip. “Dr. Okumura was sweating a lot, and his shirt kind of clung to his chest and I got distracted.” He blurted the confession in a rush, Ash nearly didn’t decipher any of it. But he did, oh he did.

“Kid,” Ash clapped his shoulder as he glanced at the ever oblivious Eiji with his thin white shirt and khaki pants. He wiped a roll of sweat from his forehead just as he climbed out of the pit. “I completely understand.”

His boyfriend was a fucking walking safety hazard.

Eiji looked up to them with a grin and waved,

Yes, definitely a safety hazard.

* * *

It’s nearly two weeks since they’ve started on this trip and they were about to end their little field training with their undergrads. Soon they’d be flying back to New York, back in the four walls of a lecture hall in NYU, and back to their crummy old desks.

Every day, Eiji became more reluctant to go back. It’s not that he hated the school work. God, Eiji thrived better in a lecture hall than out here in the field. The other archeologists who were actually mainly in charge of this site were kind enough to let them help, his colleagues were most grateful for the help and Eiji was most happy to be of help, but Eiji’s heart was never really in here.

No, what made Eiji reluctant to leave was because of this, of Ash being here, of being…whatever it was he was doing. Ash was definitely acting strange. He had been ever since they got here, he was acting different. He was even more tactile, tenderer, mushier….more…boyfriend-y.

It was impossible. There were several theories in every field of studies and every set of research. It’s the fundamental blocks of learning, this little question of _what if_ and _why not_. Some can become the most revolutionizing ideas that could change the very field of their study. It could be the most wonderful, mind-blowing, breathtaking, mind boggling thing when proven.

But often they were just theories.

And this was exactly it. A theory.

Because no way was Ash suddenly in love with him. There just was no way. There were simply things in the realm of the impossible, a null hypothesis. No significant correlation between factor A and factor B, and there was just no way to take in pure and reliable data without the smidge of bias. It was a study doomed to fail.

And yet, here he was anyway, going beyond the idea of impossible. Like the bafflement of finding traces of coca on the remains of an Egyptian mummy, implying the possibility of trade between the Americas and Egyptians, as if two ancient civilizations from across the globe somehow discovered a way to meet all those years ago. And perhaps there was a correlation after all, that somehow you can disprove the null hypothesis after several more studies.

“Dr. Callenreese, your gay is showing.” William snickered while Eiji continued to document their findings with their camera. Eiji no longer trusted Ash with documenting because his photos were often blurry, the aperture and lighting was always a mess, and he had this tendency to take none related photos while working. The SD card was filled with pictures of the kids and on a more occurring instance, Eiji. So yeah, Ash was not going to hold the camera anytime soon, if only because it often causes Eiji to get so flustered.

“Kid, I must have you know I’m bisexual. Not gay. If you’re going to call me out, you better do it properly.” Ash barked a laugh. “Second, I don’t see how any of you are toning down your heart eyes either, so you can’t really call me out. Besides, if anyone has the right to swoon, it’s me.”

Eiji frowned at the screen of his camera. Heart eyes? Part of that statement didn’t make sense. Though Ash must have known half the class secretly has a crush on him because he literally just called them out on it. Who else would they squeal at every time?

Well that was a little bit of a bummer. Of course he could see through them. Ash must have been used to admirers throwing themselves all over him. Of course he knew. So all these years…

Eiji didn’t think his friend was intentionally mean. He did not think he was the type to play with his feelings either. But the way Ash was acting was driving Eiji to bouts of insanity, how Ash managed to drive him mad in less than a month, fighting only Eiji’s dissertation for first place in things that made Eiji scream and laugh maniacally at three in the morning.

“You’re a disaster bisexual professor.” Zora snorted.

“Eiji! Our children are so fucking mean to me!”

Eiji huffed. “They take after you.” This was probably just Ash and his overall strangeness, his peculiar personality. 

"Not you too." 

Yeah. Eiji rolled his eyes and quashed the feelings blooming in his chest for him to examine later. Ash was just being peculiar. That was all.

* * *

In the year 1799, during the Napoleonic wars, a stone with strange writings was found by the French soldiers stationed in Egypt. This stone then became an important piece in Egyptology and linguistics as it became a guide to read the hieroglyphics on the walls of the ancient civilizations the world had forgotten about.

This the Rosetta stone. A special guide for the language lost in time, some lines of gibberish in the open. It’s something that is plain in sight, yet difficult to understand anyway.

The point was some things were so confusing, and you would definitely need a guide else you would flounder on that regard, and Ash was definitely floundering with understanding Eiji. He was so cryptic, so difficult to read. He was a push and a pull, war and peace, the rise and fall of empires, like Rome in its glory and its gore. He was the beginning of life from small hunters and tribes, he was evolution, a change to highly industrialized capitalist states. He was culture, the malleable and rigid oxymoron of life. He was everything, he was human. And humans were so goddamn confusing.

Eiji was sitting on the wooden bench overlooking the dusty view, the sunset caressed him with gentleness, as if the universe decided that it existed only to enhance the man’s beauty. Ash was not a great photographer like Eiji, but if he could capture this moment and keep it in his pocket, then he would. His boyfriend was beautiful, his long tied up hair rested on his shoulder and a wistful sigh left his lips.

It was almost time to go back home, like waking up from a dream. Half a month in the Italian countryside this ancient city which laid in ruins, pillars and pillars of broken temples stood among them, the only remnants of what was once a vivacious place, could inspire a little change within you. The ancientness of the air settled deep in the hollowness of Ash’s bones, perhaps this was what preoccupied his lover’s mind.

“Got some room for one more?” Ash quirked his lips up. Eiji turned to him, eyes wide.

“You never asked before. What’s stopping you now?” Eiji chuckled as he scooted over. Ash pressed himself against Eiji, resting his head on his shoulder.

“A lot of different things.” Ash hummed. “Here.”

He passed a bottle of cold beer to Eiji with a grin. It’s their last week here. Time to pack up and fly back in a couple of connected flights. It's going to be a long way home. 

"Should we be drinking? On the clock?" Eiji arched his dark brow. 

"The kids got it. They're having a mini party of their own. Careful, it’s a little strong." Ash shrugged. He popped his bottle open with his Swiss army knife's bottle opener. It was handy for excavations and times like these. He did the same for Eiji's.

"Should we allow them to drink booze during class hours?" But Eiji's eyes were crinkled and his lips were smirking with mischief. Good heavens, he was exquisite. Ash had seen enough curiosities to last him a lifetime. He's seen enough wonderful things that no man has ever seen. He's been to four of the Seven Wonders of the World and yet none of them held a candle to this. 

Ash could write a dissertation about this. He could use a qualitative approach, a phenomenology. He could lay out a rationale from the twinkle of Eiji's eyes, the hypothesis from the sound of his laughter. He could list the definition of terms from the spectrum of emotions he made Ash feel. He could draw observation after observation, implications after another, and tie it all up with a conclusion of how much he loved Eiji. 

Or a quantitative study could do. But can he really quantify the statistical probability of Eiji making him fall in love over and over? Or can anything possibly assign a value of how much he loved the man? A value that was not infinite? It seemed mathematically impossible. 

"Oh please. They're not kids." Ash clinked his bottle with Eiji's. By the end of this study, Ash would have to repeat it again, having never gathered enough data. And it'll never be enough. But he'll spend his whole life studying this research if he has to. He'll dedicate the rest of his time learning everything about the enigma that was Eiji Okumura if it was allowed. 

"You're the one who was overprotective of them just a few days ago." Eiji grinned at him before finally settling for a gulp from his drink.

"They were going in unstable structures! They're not safe--Eiji stop laughing at me!" Ash pouted at the cackling Japanese. Ash snapped his mouth shut and simply chugged down from his beer. The warmth of the alcohol that slid off his throat to his chest set it on fire. Eiji was holding back adorable snorts of laughter.

“You’re such a dad.” Eiji sighed.

“Oh love, you’re a dad too. We’ve pretty much adopted a bunch of kids. We should start a family.” Ash hummed while sipping from his own bottle. But Eiji had stiffened next to him, a sharp inhale of his breath, hands trembling.

“Eiji—“

“So New York,” Eiji cut in before Ash could say anything. “Got anything planned for when we get back?”

Ash blinked and then he grinned. “Are you asking me out on a date Eiji?”

“You are insufferable.” Eiji clicked his tongue. “I meant the paperwork and all that shit.”

“Do you really want to think about that bunch of headaches?” Ash groaned.

“You’re a bunch of headaches.”

“Hey!”

Eiji was laughing again, cheeks flushed from the alcohol and from the laughter. Maybe the sun had to do something with it as well, and Ash was irrevocably in love.

“Angel, you’re so lucky I love you.” Ash whispered while Eiji finished his drink in one last swig. His eyes were glued to the moisture on his lover’s lips, the way they pressed themselves together. How wonderful would it be to taste them? How lovely would it be to capture them finally?

Ash flicks his gaze between those pink lips and Eiji’s dark eyes, wide, shining. Closer, just closer, the air was thinning and their breaths shallower. Ash slipped a hand on Eiji’s cheek and caressed the tender skin beneath him.

“Don’t tease me. Please don’t—“ Eiji gave a strangled noise at the back of his throat while he pulled away. “Please don’t play with me.” That sounded less of a whisper and more like a sob. There was pleading in his voice. He sounded upset. Ash did not understand why.

“Darling, what’s the matter--?”

“You.” Eiji’s eyes were misty. “You—why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” Ash grasped Eiji’s hand. It pained him to see his lover like this. Ash felt like he was doing something wrong. He didn’t mean to hurt Eiji in some way. He knew he was new to the whole relationship thing, but he didn’t think he messed up that badly…did he?

“Don’t you really know?” Eiji whimpered.

“No.” Ash shook his head. “Love, tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

Eiji looked even more distressed. “I think I’m too tipsy for this conversation.”

“Eiji—“ Ash held his wrist before he could get up and leave. “Talk to me.” It could be he was tipsy. It could be. Eiji was susceptible to different moods when drunk. He was a lightweight. The first time they met was just like this, with Eiji drunk off champagne and wine from a function from six years ago. Captivating, Eiji had already graduated from his doctorate degree and Ash was just starting his. It was a conference, and like the golden color of the champagne, the lights of the ballroom lit Eiji’s cheeks with hues of pink and rose.

 _“Aslan Callenreese! Yes—you silly American! Talk to me about your thoughts on the_ _Body Rituals Among the Nacirema!”_

Ash was immediately enamored with the brashness of that soft looking Japanese man in his tailored suit who whisked him away to an interesting conversation and a dance. He remembered feeling like he was tossed in the air, as if he was flying. He remembered thinking about how the man was so lucky, he could fly, so free and inebriated. Ash wouldn’t ever forget it.

But the Eiji now was nothing like that drunk Eiji, and Ash could tell this wasn’t only influenced by the alcohol.

“I’ll see you later Ash.” Eiji walked away, leaving him with stinging confusion.

Later he would find Eiji drinking more bottles of booze with the kids, and while Ash tried not to let it hurt, he can’t help but walk back into their bed with a slump on his step.

Did it stop Ash from waking up from his sleep to carry a drunk Eiji back to their tent? No. Did it stop him from helping him feel more comfortable so that he won’t feel like shit in the morning? Also no. Did Ash adore Eiji anyway after he threw up all over Ash’s shirt? Yes, absolutely.

“Sweetheart, I wish you’d talk to me.” Ash whispered. “You don’t need to keep anything you know?”

And Eiji, despite the slur in his voice managed to murmur. “I just care for you more than you do for me, and I don’t blame you. It is okay, I’ve accepted it since long ago. Years even.” He smiled brittle and wobbly, and that punched Ash to the heart. What was he supposed to say? That he only realized they were in a relationship two weeks ago? That probably would make Eiji feel worse. He probably spent all this time thinking of how much of a shit lover Ash was, giving him the barest minimum of what he deserved, not knowing how much Ash was willing to kill and die for him.

“No.” Ash said with determined eyes. If he had withstood the eyes of old men and their judging stares, proved to them the validity of his research, of his claims, of his theories and come out victorious, then he could show Eiji exactly that and more. If he had to spend his whole life proving and debunking him, showing him evidence of how unquantifiable the strange phenomena of his love, then Ash definitely would. “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll prove you wrong.”

Eiji’s eyes were watery and wide, perhaps even skeptical. But Ash was ready to give it his all.

* * *

“Oh god, what did I do last night?” Eiji was now in his futon, buried under his blanket like the majority of their students. Ash somehow, in a cruel twist of irony, remained the cheeriest sunshine among the group. Eiji had a pounding headache and the world was such a painful place to live in…well, more painful. He was still a little drunk, just a few short of crashing into the hangover. He could still feel the alcohol in his veins.

“You are such a lightweight, dear.” Ash told him with a smirk. “You just drank seven glasses of rum and an entire bottle of beer. I guess it will hurt like a bitch.” Ash handed him a glass of water to moisten up his dry mouth, tasting like bile and acid.

“Did I, by anyway, throw up on you?” Eiji sorted out what was real and what had been a series of mad dreams conjured by his mind. The look on Ash’s face confirmed his suspicion and simply mortified him to the point of never wanting to part with the blanket between them.

“Come on, darling. It’s not that bad. I forgive you.” Ash cackled. “You ranted about the _Body Rituals Among the Nacirema_ afterwards.” Eiji was dying from embarrassment and he was cackling. How mean.

“Ugh, shut up. Head hurts.” Eiji huffed while trying to get into a better position so that he wouldn't feel like Pangea getting split into continents.

“Of course dear.” Ash was still beaming at him like crazy. “I’ll bring you breakfast and then you can sleep.”

“It’s not like you to be so doting.” Eiji snorted.

“I’m trying to be a decent human being, if you must know.” Ash ruffled his hair, promising to take care of him in this state. Eiji’s mind drifted off to Ira Byock and Margaret Mead. She quoted in her book that once upon a time, a student asked the renowned anthropologist, Margaret Mead about what were the earliest signs of human civilization starting. Strangely, Mead replied not with fish hooks, not broken clay pots, or rocks sharpened together, but with the earliest femur that was broken and mended and had aged.

Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.

A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts.

This was a quote in Byock’s book, of course and Eiji was never sure if Mead ever did say it. It seemed plausible though, given Mead’s personality. But it had some semblance of logic into it.

It was quite inspiring. Humans have, and always had, looked out for each other. The world was built from the cloth of compassion and stood in the foundation of empathy and kindness. People by nature helped each other. So Eiji supposed Ash nursing him back right now is simply a reflection of that man with a broken femur so long ago and the man who helped him. It was only reasonable.

And yet no.

Eiji didn’t think so. One did not simply look like he hung the stars when taking care of another…right? One did not simply whisper endearments and hold you like you are the most precious and fragile artifact found in an excavation. Was it the alcohol in his bloodstream talking?

He could argue that Ash was simply a good man. Too good a man.

And yet.

And yet.

And _yet_.

The world was also built on love.

Love.

“I love you.” Eiji whispered, a little inebriated, a little hungover. He had a massive headache and his heart was pounding a hundred beats a minute. Maybe this was like Pangea spitting after all. Maybe this was lightning striking the ground. Like fire sparking into life, burning wood and getting discovered. Maybe this was old carvings in a forgotten cave, ruins in the dust, left untouched from the passage of time, lost and waiting to be found again, to say _here! I am here! And I was here! I existed! I lived! And I laughed! This is who I am! Nice to meet you!_ A thousand years apart.

Eiji whispered because it was so goddamn obvious. And he should have said it long ago without being scared. He was a fucking idiot.

“Love you too.” Ash’s face broke into a wide smile. He said it so casually, as if it always had been. Like two broken shards of earthenware clicking in so easily after being broken into pieces. He made earth shattering things normal, and Eiji was so helplessly allured. “Go get some rest okay?” He said with soft eyes, pressing a kiss on his forehead.

Eiji was so enthralled.

* * *

The last day of lecture, Ash was deeply satiated. He and Eiji were in a better place. It was all he could ever dream of.

Speaking of Eiji, he was currently talking in front of the kids, hair tied in a bun, and tight shirt. He was so lucky. What did he do to deserve this?

“Professor Callenreese? Prof? Ash, come on. Stop spacing out.”

Ash blinked at Eiji’s words. “Sorry what?”

The kids broke into laughs and giggles.

There’s a mischievous arch of Eiji’s brow, lips bitten to suppress a smile. “It’s your turn to lecture?”

“Oh yes! I can do that.” Ash immediately walked beside Eiji.

Eiji was a little pink in the face. He counted that as a win.

* * *

They ended up walking together at night. The breeze was cool and the night was young. Eiji walked right in step with Ash, sneakers sinking in the dusty ground. Here, it was private, a little place tucked away from the world where ghosts of ancient lives haunted the very road they walked. They left impressions in these pillars, these sandy dirt trails. Footprints blown by the wind, washed away by the rain. The very soil contains the blood and bodies of ancient people, their stories waiting to be unearthed. Here, Eiji was certain that Ash wanted him.

He wants this back into New York. By this, he meant the freedom he was granted, the changes they all underwent. This, meaning the want in Ash's eyes, the fondness of Ash's touches. Will they have this too in New York? Will I have you still? By this, he meant: I want you everywhere and anywhere. In whatever epoch, in whatever language, whatever circumstance.

"Ever wonder what kind of life this place used to hold?" Eiji sighed.

"We're literally here to find out." Ash snickered, and Eiji rolled his eyes fondly.

"Yes, I know that." Their hands were laced together, fingers twined. Warm against warm, the shared heat of their touch was enough to dispel the chill from Eiji's body. "But don't you ever speculate how it looks like without the scientific process in the way? Can you just imagine how it must look like? How it sounded like? People running around? Thousands of years ago before they became lost is the tides of history?" 

There's wonder blooming in Ash's face as Eiji explained. 

"I like it when you wax poetic about ancient civilization and a pile of rocks." Ash laughed softly. 

"You act like you don't." Eiji muttered with a roll of his eyes. 

"It's because I do, that I like it when you do." Ash said, squeezing Eiji's hand. 

"Well, aren't you more of a jerk lately?" Eiji huffed. 

"It's the good mood I'm in. I'm in a lot of good moods lately." Ash breathed in the evening sir, letting the cold settle within him. He was kicking the dust from the ground at every step. 

"I suppose I can agree. I am feeling a lot good lately." Eiji nodded along. This trip had been good to them. It was a different one from the rest of their other excavations.

"The place makes you better." Ash quips along. "You're happier with it." 

"Oh you're the one doing that." Eiji offhandedly mentioned. But Ash paused from his walk, and faced Eiji with this look in his eyes. His breath hitched, lips parting to articulate something but couldn't seem to find the words for it.

"Eiji," was what came out finally. There's imploring in his jade eyes, a certain desperation. "If I ask, will you let me kiss you?" There's a little laughter at the end, cut off with the thickness of the tension between them.

"Depends on how you ask." Eiji was darting between his lips and his eyes. He licked his lips, suddenly dry in that cool evening air. He couldn’t help but tease Ash anyway.

"Eiji. May I kiss you?" Ash sucked in a breath. Inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter. Their faces were drawn closer to each other. Millimeter by millimeter till there was only so little distance between them. EIji could smell Ash’s breath as it fanned against his cheek.

“You may.” Eiji whispered, heart hammering in his chest.

And just like that, something broke within them. Ash captured Eiji’s lips, devouring it the moment they touched. Eiji had let out moans from his throat, eyes shutting close as Ash slipped in a tongue into his mouth. Hands grasped at his shoulders, ones weakening and they were falling into the dusty ground, no regard for decency or for any form of care other than the feeling of this. They have no room for things like that.

Eiji thought distantly, yes this must be the pinnacle of civilization. This feeling. This was what prompted men to go to war, to raze entire cities. This was what people painted in canvases, even when their canvas was the very world itself, and they sculpted this sensation in the very soil of this earth, the rocks and trees and rivers. This was what sculpted humanity as it is. This was what ancient people sang and danced about, made art about. And this was what people will sing and dance about years later when their present civilization was all but pillars in the dust as well, when all the world is but a changed place too different from what it was, this feeling will remain a universal constant.

Ash rolled his hips against his, thrusting against his groin, sparking jolts of pleasure through Eiji's body. It thrilled him, scared him, excited him. Lips and teeth grazed his neck, trailing kisses down his neck to his chest. Eiji moaned out Ash's name, grasping at his shirt, begging him to take it off. Heat pooled in his gut, down to his crotch. Desire rushed between his legs into hardness. He could feel it on Ash as well, pressing against his thigh.

"Ash..." If wars were waged and lost, battles were won and surrendered, then this was what it must have been. No other form of surrender and victory could be purer that this.

Ash obliged, having understood what Eiji wanted without words. He slipped off his shirt and tossed it away, leaving nothing but his bare chest for him to touch. Eiji’s pants were also pulled off his legs and he shivered from the sudden cold.

“Eiji,” He laughed against the Eiji’s skin. “Please, let me…Can I? Will you allow me to?”

“I’m yours Ash.” Eiji curled his toes in anticipation. “Take me.”

“You are so beautiful.” Ash had this uncanny ability of speaking as if he was praying to forgotten gods, worshipful, gentle, reverent. It doesn’t stop Eiji from becoming weak.

“Have you seen yourself?” Eiji huffed while he held Ash’s cheek in his palms.

“Yes—“ Ash gasped after that perfectly good way his groin grinded against his, eyes rolling back. “But my opinion stays—nghh the same.”

“Ash.” Eiji hissed. “Stop teasing.” Ash’s hand snaked its way to the waistband of his boxers, toying at the hem and rubbing at the place Eiji desperately wanted until he was bucking his hips for more friction.

“Darling…”

“Ash.”

Ash sighed, as if relenting. “I don’t think I can ever say no to you.”

Then he kissed him once again, slower, more playful, more sensual. He was coaxing the most debauched sounds from Eiji, unraveling him slowly with his touch alone. And he gave Eiji everything.

And Eiji gave him his all.

* * *

“Yo profs! Didn’t see you guys last night after.” Felipe greeted them in the pits.

“Did you have an enjoyable night, professors?” Franz smiled at them widely.

“They were pretty busy.” Margaret stared at them pointedly.

“That’s a really good night, I’m assuming.” Zora giggled.

“Yeah, I mean look at the giant hickey Dr. Okumura gave Dr. Callenreese.” William snickered.

Ash grasped his neck, attempting to cover it for a semblance of decency and professionalism. But he knew all pretenses of decency and professionalism jumped out the window the moment he let Eiji fuck him into oblivion on the dusty ground by some ancient pile of rocks.

“You brats should go back to digging or else I’m failing all of you.” Ash snapped.

“Whatever dad.”

Christ these kids are going to kill him soon.

* * *

Before they left, the entire crew of the excavation team decided to throw them one last party, a farewell party of sorts. It wasn’t overly fancy like those international seminars or conferences they’ve attended in the past, but Eiji enjoyed it nonetheless.

He was sure to hold drinking off, knowing how bad he was at holding his alcohol. The kids were getting all rowdy and begged him to take pictures of them with his camera.

“I don’t see why you can’t just do it yourselves.” Eiji sighed, but he adjusted the settings of the DSLR anyway.

“You’re almost like a professional!” Zora explained.

“Yeah nothing like prof Callenreese.” Margaret snorted.

Eiji rolled his eyes. He was indulging these kids too much.

Speaking of Ash, he was off being whisked away by other colleagues. Eiji supposed everyone wanted to have a piece of that 200 IQ brain of his. Professors either admired him or was jealous of him, but it was undeniable that he was in fact, a genius. Eiji smiled at the viewfinder while he admired the look of his lover.

_Lover._

How surreal.

“Oi prof, you can send Dr. Callenreese heart eyes after the photo op.” Felipe whistled. “He’s not going anywhere.”

“We get it, your man is sexy. You don’t need to eye fuck him from here.” William clapped his hands.

Oh god these kids.

“I am so failing all of you.” Eiji muttered after a few clicks. He won’t. And they also know he won’t. But maybe he’ll scare them a bit when they get back just to wipe off those smug little grins.

After the picture taking, Eiji handed the camera back to them with explicit instructions to make sure it stayed in one piece when they get back to New York. When the kids gave an offhanded agreement, Eiji made his way to where Ash was, talking to the head archeologist of the operation.

“It’s been awhile, Dr. Callenreese, are you by any chance married already?” Eiji managed to catch just before he could reach to Ash.

“I’m not. I have a boyfriend though. I think you’ve met him.” Ash smirked. Those words were enough to get Eiji to stop in his tracks, heart skipping a beat. _Boyfriend._ Eiji felt like he was flying, heart jumping into his throat--

“Oh?”

“Yes. We’ve been dating for a couple of years now.”

\--and then it immediately plummeted down to his gut like solid lead. Eiji felt like he was dumped in ice cold water, dread filled his entire body. Like precious glass breaking, a precious artifact ruin, shattering on the ground with a crash.

“Is that the man you met in the World Archeological Congress from Rome? The one who was found discussing with you about your research?”

“The one who whisked me off into a dance. Yes, that’s him. God Charlie, I can’t believe you remember that.” Ash laughed so breezily. “But yes, in fact I am planning to propose when we get back. It’s a few years overdue I think.”

Eiji stumbled back a step. He would have remembered something like that if Ash was talking about him. And they’ve only been in a relationship in such a short time. Were they even really in a relationship? Or was this all but a fling to Ash? _Propose_. God, Eiji was so stupid.

He took another step back. He was running in the wilderness and he could feel the sound of his femur cracking, the snap loud in his ears. Except no one was there to help him. Only humans ever were the creatures who would go out of their way to build tools to hurt each other. Only humans could ever be so cruel. Maybe Mead was wrong after all. Maybe Byock was making shit up all this time. It was survival of the fittest in the law of the jungle, a social Darwinism, a free for all. 

Ash had broken his femur and left him for dead.

Eiji turned around and didn’t look back.

* * *

By the time Eiji went back, Ash was looking at him with worry, but even then he refused to speak to him.

He continued the cold treatment till they landed back home.

It was too good to be true.

Eiji went home and cried himself to sleep.

* * *

New York simply brought Eiji a depressive air which did not help with his mood. Ash thankfully understood that he wanted to be left alone and did exactly that for the next few days, but the concrete jungle of the city and the grey weather was suffocating Eiji more.

He tried to do something else just to keep his mind from going adrift. He read whatever thing that take his mind off of Ash.

_“The anthropologist has become so familiar with the diversity of ways in which different people behave in situations that he is not apt to be surprised by even the most exotic customs. In fact if all logically possible combinations of behavior have not been found somewhere in the world, he is apt to suspect they must be present in some undescribed tribe—“_

Not even Miner could keep him off his thoughts. The article laid in his table. The _Body Rituals Among the Nacirema_ left unread for Eiji could not even bother read something he absolutely enjoyed.

His office was too full of traces of Ash, of proofs of his existence in Eiji’s life. If he was to excavate his office and determine the artifacts that contained stories about Ash, he would probably end up with half of the objects in here. If he was to map them all out, he would have to write an entire book about it. Eiji thought with a humorless laugh. Miner was right he supposed, he and the Nacirema had no difference after all, especially the special penchant for masochism.

That ridiculous pumpkin mug, a hoodie two sizes bigger than Eiji, litters of research papers, scribbles, notebooks, trash. Even those granola bars that Ash liked but Eiji despised yet he kept anyway because Ash loved them anyway. Oh god—

A knock snapped him away from his thoughts. He didn’t need to guess who it was. He knew just by the way the rhythm of those knuckles hit the wood.

Maybe it was Pavlovian reaction, or maybe it Eiji’s body never learned to hate Ash, but that was enough to make Eiji turn around and face him, knowing full well what to expect.

Ash was there by the doorway, looking confused and hurt. How dare he look hurt? Why would he come in looking like that? Looking like Eiji singlehandedly caused the fall of a dynasty? Why would he look at Eiji with his jade eyes, as green as the Heirloom Seal’s green façade, as if he was also in anguish? Eiji thought of his lover, the man he was going to propose to. Did he know what Ash did? Did he know that Eiji fucked with his fiancé to be?

Why would Ash do this to him? Ash, who Eiji all but adored and thought no ill of.

“Hey.” Ash took a step forward. Even his voice sounded off, but Eiji was not in the mood to deal with it. “Is there—are we okay?” He cleared his throat.

Eiji snapped. “ _We_? What do you mean we?” There was visible hurt in Ash’s eyes as they widened at his sudden outburst and Eiji hated how he felt guilty about it anyway. “I’m sorry. Don’t worry about it, everything is fine.” He says through gritted teeth and a too forced smile that was too tight in his face.

“Eiji.” Ash said in a strangled voice. “I mean our relationship. What is happening? I want to know—“

“We’re okay Ash.” Eiji lied through his teeth. Placid and saccharine, his voice was a pitch higher.

“That’s bullshit. Stop keeping your feelings to yourself. If you’re doing it for me then you’re not helping at all. Tell me what I’m doing wrong so I can fix this.” Ash growled in frustration. He ran a hand through his golden hair, grasping at it. “I swear I’m trying. I really am trying. So please,” he pitched his voice into a whisper. “Please tell me what to do.”

He was imploring. Eiji didn’t even noticed when he crossed the room; didn’t even notice him cupping his cheek. Eiji was so weak, so defenseless. He didn’t even bother putting up his guards. Ash was kissing him, mournfully, desperately, but visibly holding back. Trembling hands on his cheek, his neck. Eiji pulled away and he moaned in torment before he could fully melt into Ash’s touch.

“Why—“ Eiji choked as tears spilled from his eyes. “Why? Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you Eiji. I told you didn’t I? I’ll prove you wrong. Whatever it is you’re thinking. I’ll prove myself to you.”

“You can’t just say that! You don’t really. I know you don’t.” Eiji wrapped his arms around himself, wanting to fold himself into the ground.

“Eiji. I’ve been trying to prove myself this whole trip. I do love you. I have loved you for years. I’m sorry if it wasn’t evident at first, but I really do.” Ash pleaded.

“H-how can you say that? How can you tell me you love me when you have someone waiting for you at home?!” Eiji burst out with more tears. They were hot as they spilled down his cheeks.

“Wait what?!” Ash sounded distressed. Was he going to deny it? “What did you say?”

“Don’t make me repeat it.” Eiji hissed.

“I don’t have anyone waiting at home.” Ash argued.

“I heard you, okay? You were telling Charlie at the party about a boyfriend who you wanted to propose to when we get back. You don’t need to keep this up.” Eiji moaned. Ash look pale. Eiji did not see any point in stopping. “Y-you said you met years ago, that you’re in a relationship years ago. I don’t—I don’t even know who this is—“

“Eiji wait!” Ash cut in before he lost himself in a spiral. “I think—I think there’s a misunderstanding.” He staggered backward to a chair. “Eiji, that boyfriend was you.”

All noise in Eiji’s head had shut up in an instant.

“What?”

“The boyfriend I mentioned—“ Ash choked. “I was talking about you.”

“What?”

“What do you mean what? Do I look like I have another boyfriend hidden somewhere? God Eiji, I didn’t spend all those years pining over you just to have enough time to secretly find myself another boyfriend between those researches, proposals, and classes.” Ash told him, incredulous and maybe a little offended.

“You said _years_!”

“Didn’t we? You said it! Ash exclaimed.

“I said what? I didn’t really even know If we were officially a thing till we fu—uhh…you know!” Eiji’s face was heating up for an entirely different reason.

Ash was stunned into silence. He had this suspicious look as he stared at Eiji.

“On the first week. You said we were dating.” Ash said this really slowly, as if he was making sure Eiji would not miss a word he was saying.

“I didn’t?” Eiji was getting distressed. Ash was even more confused. Heck both of them were.

“You did. William asked if we were dating. You said we were doing it for years. You even laughed about it!” Ash accused.

“We were? We were relative dating?! We literally do that every time we dig!”

The silence that followed was harsh to Eiji’s ears. There was a couple of seconds before Ash’s expression changed from stunned to absolute hysterical laughter.

Why are you laughing?!”

“Eiji--“ Ash said mid wheeze. “Eiji, darling. Oh darling, he wasn’t asking about relative dating.”

It admittedly took seconds.

Perhaps even minutes.

But it finally clicked to Eiji and color immediately drained from his face.

“Oh my god.”

Dating. Dating as in relationship dating. Not the archeology type of dating. 

Eiji staggered backward and Ash caught him just in time.

“Sweetheart.”

He fucked up. He fucked up real bad. Ash must have misunderstood all this time and it was because of him.

Eiji whimpered. He covered his face with his hands and made a tiny scream at the back of his throat. Ash was chuckling at his dilemma.

“Love.” Ash gathered him up against him. “Love, look at me.”

“This is my fault.” Eiji refused to look at Ash. “Oh god. We’re in this mess because of me." Of course he meant that kind of dating. Of course Eiji was so oblivious to not realize all this time. Oh god.

He needed to sit down.

Scratch that he needed to get drunk.

No no that's probably a terrible idea.

Ash was being unhelpful and decided to giggle obnoxiously at Eiji’s struggle. He was half crying half laughing, himself. He didn’t know what exactly to feel. He wanted nothing more than to trade place with a skeleton buried twenty feet underground, where the soil would swallow him away from the cruelness of this awkward situation.

“Oh my fucking god, I’m so sorry Ash.” Eiji whined.

“It’s all good now sweetheart. All is good.” Ash pressed him against his chest and rested his chin on Eiji’s head, rocking them in a slow rhythm.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Hmm. Neither can I.” How was Ash so calm? Eiji was having a mini crisis and he’s laughing.

“Hold me please? Before I faint.” Eiji murmured against Ash’s chest.

“I already am darling.” He could feel the grin on Ash’s face. Damn him. “If it helps, I was so scared when you said we were dating. I thought I was the oblivious one.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t want to break your heart.”

“My heart was broken when I thought you were cheating with your future husband with me!” Eiji huffed.

“Sorry.” Ash pressed kissed on top of his head.

“Was that why you were suddenly so clingy?” Eiji piped up.

“Yeah.” Ash laughed, sheepish.

“I thought you were playing with me. I thought you knew how I felt and you were teasing me.” Eiji bit his lip. “And then, I thought you actually wanted me. That I had a chance.”

“I do want you. I love you. For so long Eiji. Too damn long.”

“Even if I caused such a big mess?”

“Even then.” Ash smirked at him. “You’re my clumsy Japanese. I think I fell for you the first time we met. ”

And Eiji thought as he looked at Ash in that moment, about how the beauty of studying humans was that they were so complex. Sometimes they were the most complicated creature you'll ever meet, with their social cues, and miscommunications, and emotions. It's one of the most complex mechanisms in this world that was always ever changing. No set rules ever written, no set guidelines to follow, or agreed upon by the general populace. It was fascinating in a way, always changing with the times. Humans were never in stasis. 

Ash was also like this in a way.

But humans were also so damn simple. When they were angry they yell, when sad, they cry. When they were hungry, they ate. When they were happy they laughed.

And when they love, they loved fiercely.

Eiji never should have doubted about it. He had no reason to all this time.

“Hold on.” He peeled himself away from Ash’s embrace, suddenly remembering something missing from the puzzle. Eiji looked at Ash with incredulity and apprehension. “Did something happen in World Archeological Congress from Rome?”

* * *

“ _I think it’s a very lovely article. The absurdity of it all really puts you into perspective, the cultural biases of anthropologists sometimes bleed into their work without them even noticing it. Miller wrote a fantastic way of reminding us to check our biases.” The man had then rambled on, cheeks flushed and eyes shining wide. “And the way you spoke of it, your article relating to it. Ethnocentrism and Cultural Relativity. It’s like poetry. I have read it, but I never expected to be blown away any more than I was when the words came from your lips.” He continued with his earnest praise. Something about how passionate he was discussing with Ash, the way he obviously read the material by heart endeared Ash._

_“I’m glad you have some lovely insights about my research. Are you an undergrad? You seem too young to be here._

_And then the man did the unexpected. He huffed, as if that was insulting. Affronted, he pouted. “I am older than you, you know? And I already finished my doctor’s degree.”_

_Oh that was surprising._

_“My bad big brother. You looked like a college student. How will I ever make it up to you?”_

_“Dance with me, and maybe you’ll find out.” The way he invited him was a challenge, daring him to move forward._

_Ash laughed. He liked this guy._

_“I don’t suppose big brother has a name?”_

_“Eiji.” That word was going to change Ash’s world forever. Like discovering a scientific discovery to change the very field of Anthropology once and for all. “Eiji Okumura.”_

**Author's Note:**

> A couple big things. 
> 
> The student names are prominent people in archeology. Lmao
> 
> Relative dating is putting an age on artefacts like what you did when you see rocks. There's also absolute dating. Carbon dating is part of this. The whole plot revolved around a pun lmao
> 
> Please please please read Body Rituals Among the Nacirema. It's a very enlightening article about racism and cultural biases.... assuming you get the explanation properly. It's a very old article too.
> 
> I don't actually know if students can just pop off to a site for a hands on training but let's just assume they do lol. I haven't reached archeology in my class yet. 
> 
> I'mma add more notes after I get some sleep hahaha
> 
> Edit:
> 
> The part about the coca found in Egyptian mummies was real. But if they did trade with the Americas in ancient times, we don't really know. Maybe it was just a contamination. Either way we shouldn't close any chances of it
> 
> Margaret Mead and her quote to the student circulates around Tumblr. But it's actually in a book by Ira Byock and not Mead herself unless further proof is found. It's like survival of the fittest isn't actually Darwin's catchphrase but Herbert Spencer's (a guy who kinda caused a lot of scientific racism in the Field)
> 
> Samuel Morton and his study of crainiology was...wack as fuck. Just so you know, he said there were 3 dominant races which he determined by measuring skulls. There's the Caucasian, the mongoloids and the negros. And you can tell where this is going. It's racist as fuck. Thankfully Franz Boaz and his student spent a lot of time debunking a lot scientific racist theories. 
> 
> Not that important but the Heirloom seal used to describe Ash's eyes is actually a jade seal of the first emperor of China. Who ever owned that seal had the divine right to rule over the empire. However a few dynasties later it was lost. Who knows where it is. And emperors made a dozen other deals to lessen its importance in case someone wants to contest the throne.
> 
> Ochre is a pigment used by cave dwellers to paint those bisons and animals and handprints you see in caves. The interesting part of art on the cave walls is that we never really are sure if they were sacred stuff, simply graffiti or if people then we're just natural artists and they painted in every part of the earth but caves were preserved because not many came in them. Either way, it makes me a little emotional.
> 
> Yes there was apparently one archeologist who buried rats in their backyard. The profession is not for the faint of heart. 
> 
> This whole idea came from River Phoenix as young India Jones and I thought wow galaxy brain. I was going to sneak in a reference or a joke but I couldn't figure out how. Indy's fear of snakes is Ash's fear of pumpkins lmao
> 
> This was also supposed to be a the Mummy like story with Brendan Fraiser (not the Tom Cruise one god. That was so heterosexual. The Brendan Fraiser one is for the gays. I stand by this in the year 2020) but I don't know enough about egyptology to do so
> 
> Did I just Yuuri Katsuki'd Eiji? Yes, yes I did. This was also inspired by that one YOI fic that still lives in my head rent free but I can't seem to find. Maybe I should link it if you guys can find it hahah it was a geology au I think? Sgshdjdjd
> 
> Do I need to explain the Rosetta Stone? You can look it up. It was old cryptic and also kind of declaration. It had 3 scripts which helped translate the pictures on the walls of Egypt
> 
> I'm sure by now you know I'm a nerd. Duh. But if it isn't obvious that research is fucking me up the ass everyday, then it is. I just want to put it out there hahaha. 
> 
> Anyway thanks so much for reading! Hope you like it. A comment would be appreciated.


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